Monday, August 16, 2010

Divorce should not be an option if.......


I'm not over the DIVORCE issue yet..it still bothers me...and when I read again the previous articles I feel that I'm all for DIVORCE, sort of encouraging..hence I feel responsible to share the other side of story....


I had a chat with another friend last week, who's also a divorcee, she's been divorced for more than 7 years now. We used to be colleagues together with a friend who just got divorced recently, when I get to know her then she just finalized her divorce.


I know what she went through..of course then she told me she has made the right decision as infidelity involved...she moved on..lucky for her as she's financially independent..but I know for the first 3 years she still could not get over the husband, let alone the other woman is a celebrity which make it harder as she'll always been updated about the husband's new life.


From the conversation with her last week, she said..she's against divorce 100% if no third party involved. She said regardless how much money you have, the kids need a father figure in the house..men, once they are out of the house..hardly to find someone who is responsible enough to to be there for the kids when they are in trouble etc..all left to the ex-wife. Basically after the divorce you are left alone!!! Not to mention about nafkah and all..especially if they know the wife is financially secured..

In her case, her teenage daughter blaming her for the family wreckage, that her mother didn't fight hard enough for her daddy....simply giving up. Now, the daughter is in a relationship. The mother found out she's begging the boyfriend not to leave her and even willing to share the boyfriend, when asked, she told the mother.."i dont want to be like you..you gave up too easily..you didnt fight for daddy" shocking isn't it?????


See....you never know your action which you thought the best for the kids turned out otherwise..must be devastating for the mother..little that the girl know..the mother suffered 2 years before she finally filed for divorce..lost 15 kg during those period of tremendous turmoil..she will spend hours in the bathroom throwing up, when the husband went down to call the girlfriend at night..of course she didnt tell that to the kids to protect him as father figure..and yet..you are blamed:(

Her advice...as much as you can, try to work out especially if no abuse or other woman involved ..Divorce should not be an option!

6 comments:

Yummy Mummy said...

SM...sedihnya, it must hurt like hell if your own daughter blames you...its like you dont derserve to be happy; biarla semua orang happy except you...typical female sacrifice T_T Ya Allah lindungilah kami daripada dugaan ini...

Lady of Leisure said...

sedih i baca.. know what, anak2 sometimes nampak yang luaran saja, yang dalaman ni dorang tak nampak.. i hope one day her daughter will understand.. insyaAllah

screamingmommy said...

YM : ya, I bet she's devastated, itu laa sacrifice of a a mother:(

Lady: yes, me too, soon she'll have her own family, only then kut baru dia tahu appreciate her mother's sacrifice:(

CiKaYu said...

sedihnye...rasa tertusuk terus kat hati if ur own daughter blame your for the lost. i couldnt imagine if i were her. your friend betul2 tabah.

ERMAYUM said...

but babe sometime bila ada other women involve pun it should not be an option bukan gitu? heheh fight and get rid the other women? yet kalau lelaki tu dah tak suka kat 1st wife dia sebab gila orang lain should we women tolerate :( unless ada lelaki baik yg tak lupa anak bini la kan then again can women share? only women yg ridha yg kuat and of course need a good beriman man as well to be fair kan

Nana said...

I do not know what to say about this. Lain orang lain tolerance level dia. Lain orang lain fairness dia. Men, they should not abuse it just because they have the option to marry another woman.

What really saddens me is the daughter blaming the mother. How can you fight? how much pain can you tolerate?

May Allah protect us from such big dugaan. AMIN!

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